But you LOOK fine! (bit of a rant im afraid)

**raejae**

Please forgive me this, but I need to get it out.

Its like none of it exists to most people. So many people greet you and say 'Hi, you're looking well'. Ironic isn't it. Now I often say 'yes, appearances can be deceiving can't they', and a lot of the time people really dont know how to answer that, they just evade and move on.

Hate the whole insensitive-ness of some people, even when they are just joking and say stuff like 'she's just making it up, look at her, she's fine really'. When they dont realise that you are not waltzing through life taking it easy, you are doing all the normal things like shopping, and going to church not because its easy, but because you would go MAD staying indoors another day without seeing anyone, you do everything to function because you have no choice, it doesnt mean the pain is any less. If I didnt get out of bed whenever it hurt, I would have died in bed by now.

Evil or Very Mad

someone said about me 'she's just making out she is in so much pain so she doesnt have to get a job like the rest of us'

PAH! do you really think I WANT to be in pain, that I want to be living off benefits. Dont you think I would much rather earn my own money, be able to do something productive and fulfilling with my life, not be relying on other people all the time, be able to enjoy being with my fiance and do things together that normal people do?

It just makes it hurt even more when people belittle what we have to endure day after day. I know people like that will never understand because they just dont want to understand, they think they are right and judge what they dont know. But it still hurts when they look straight past you because you're not achieving what they reckon you should be.

Im sorry that Im a waste of time and space in your opinion. If I could chop a leg off instead of having endo, I would. At least then people would accept that there is something wrong.

*crying*
I so desperately wanted the Drs to find something, so that I could get better. I dont know how Im going to cope with this forever. There are so many things I wanted to do, and now I'll never be able to do most of them will I?

Sorry for having a self indulgant rant. Im not adjusting to this very well. Hopefully I'll feel a bit better soon.
really need a hug but my fiance is not here atm.
He is an angel tho, I am very blessed to have him, he looks after me and never demands that I do or be anything I dont feel capable of. I love him so much.
(and now I gone and made myself cry again)
pffft *blows nose*
ok, better now.

**shmisk**

whne people tell me i look well i just say 'thanks' and move on - if people want to think i am fine i cant change that and refuse to justify myself, those that care about me and those that matter to me are aware i am not fine.

dont chop a leg off!!

its wearing and annoying and upsetting, but it will drive you mad if you listen to it and take it to heart - you said your fiance is an angel, thats dead lucky. just concentrate on the people who actually care, the nobheads arent worth your upset.

**LALA411**

I get this ALOT! Its so frustrating isnt it? I have M.E. as well so if im not in my wheelchair they think Im recovered lol! I usually say well thats makeup for u lol!

**Tinkerbelle3Laughter**

Ah huni - dont cry

I am sending a big hug Big Hug

Its very very hard to deal with and we all have days like this and you are entitled to a rant so dont apologise it is what this site is here for.

People like that have NO IDEA what they are talking about. Most of them will be people who have never experienced ANYTHING like coping with this disease on a day to day basis and they have no clue whatsoever as to what we have to deal with on a daily basis.

If anyone makes comments to you like that again I would hold your composure - stand up and say "luckily you have never had to deal with this debilitating disease and your narrowmindedness means that you have no idea what it is like - maybe you want to try showing a bit of compassion for a change" and then walk away. You have stood up to them and told them how you feel, you are defending yourself but removing yourself from the situation.

These people are not true friends and you are better off not having anything to do with them.

Grrrrr Mad

_________________
Coffee, chocolate, men . . . Some things are just better rich.

I'm out of estrogen-and I have a gun.

Guys have feelings too. But like...who cares

I used to be schizophrenic, but we're OK now.

**brydav18**

i just read this post and took it to show my mum.

shes one of the people that you have referred to in your psot. To her, endo is like having asthma, she seems to think that im fine to function. that she 'sees what she sees' i quote her. she has no clue.

I try to explain to her that yes i can get up and do things, nd yes i go out and see my friends. BUT this doesnt mean im not in pain. And yeah, i may be signed off work but that doesnt mean thta im bed bound!! ARGHHH

Even her reading this doesnt seem to make her understand!! she just said to me she wont read anything else - as far as shes concerned i should be at work if i can do things. As far as shes concerned if im in pain i stay in bed but as soon as i get up im fine. it makes me so so so very angry. she doesnt get it.

does anyone else get this? its one thing if its your mates, but a completely different thing when your own mother seems to think that endo is just like an allergy and can be controlled by a few drugs. she has no clue!
_________________
Bryony xx

**Helen1509**

I know the feeling!
People think i'm making it up cos some days i can be okay-ish and other days i will be in tears with the pain.

It's getting to the point where i'm wishing people would have it just to see how awful and painful it can be!

I have an endometrioma on my left ovary, the size of a golf ball, the same side i had my tube removed after an ectopic. On the other side i have 2 cysts the size of golf balls as well. People thought i was making up that i was in pain until i took myself to a&e cos i couldn't even stand up!

I hate it when people just think it's all in my head, even my partner thinks it's getting boring now.

I have an op in a couple of weeks to try and sort it all out, which means more pain.

We're all in the same boat so don't think you're alone!! xx

**raejae**

((hugs for all the brave ladies out there who continue to fight on no matter what))

Im really glad I found this site, it is such a help to know Im not alone any more.

**tessa36**

brydav18 sweetheart I get very angry reading entries like that when I know how you feel and that your nearest and dearest do not want to learn for themselves by themselves.
If I could I would call your mum and tell her all about it....thing is I have a feeling that she would hang up on me if I tried!!!
We know you're telling the truth.
Sometimes you have to bite your tongue and chat to those who understand you and maybe your GP or Gynae can help now you're an adult?

**brydav18**

Yeah tessa, unfortunately she probably would...

We had a chat today and her reasoning is that when i first got poorly with it, i was bed bound with pain.
bear in mind, back then i was only given things like paracetamol, hadnt had my diagnostic lap so therefore had all the endo, and had no idea what was wrong (so extra stress etc. as well as a horrid bf at the time!)...
so she compares how i am now to how i was then. i tried explaining to her that no, my pain isnt better. im just coping with it now to a degree. I still get agony but im better at hiding it from everybody because if i moaned everytime i had pain id be the worst company possible! Yes i go out alot more and i dont spend days in bed unless i physically cant move. Yes i do a hell of alot more thna what i did orignally. But i figured life goes on and i want to enjoy it, and if i can make myslef happy surrounding myslef with friends and the joys i get out of activities like being on stage, then yeah i sure as hell will!! Wink

I can understand her reasoning but she ignores the fact i tell ehr im still in agony. She thinks because im on morphine therefore i should feel no pain (or atleast more manageable pain). this isnt the case sometimes.Tessa I know you must be in so much more discomfort than me though hun. And believe me, its coming on here and hearing your wise and kind words that keep me going. I alwasy start feeling sory for myslf so drag my sorry self on here and read stories where women have had to go through such worse cases and it makes me realise im not hard done by compared to other people. And you all keep going and stay strong, Inspirational Exclamation

_________________
Bryony xx

**Helen1509**

How long have you had endo and how long have you know about it? Apparently i've had it when my periods started when i was 11 (15 years ago) and only found out i had it last december.
What sort of pain relief were you started on and what works?
For me nothing works Sad

xx

**brydav18**

is this question for me hun or was it aimed at everyone? lol i didnt wanna answer it if you meant to ask someone else! xx
_________________
Bryony xx

**tessa36**

Awwwww I'm lost for words.......for once! Embarassed

Thank you!
I try to be as helpful as I can, even if the truth might hurt a little, or like now, was an inspiration.
I'm always here for my big family.
I try to be here as often as I can, I just hope that some people realise that I'm not on here as often as I use to be because of health problems continuing.
I will never abandon this place because there are many ladies on here that helped me save my sanity, like we have yours Very Happy

**Helen1509**

It was aimed at everyone really.
I've tried the mefanamic acid but that doesn't help at all. I've got co-dydramol which knocks me out for hours but with a partner and a 4 year old step-daughter to look after i can't have it all the time.
I'm at my wits end.
People have said about the coil and the pill but because i'm having fertility treatment after the operation in 2 weeks, that's not an option for me.

The whole situation is pants! Sad

x