Need some suggestions for how to handle a situation at work

**DiSh**

Not sure if anyone else has had a similar situation but as I've had a few issues with work and the fact theres no OH or indeed HR I'm kinda dangling on a limb as is. Today however I've found out that the male colleague (theres only one male in my department) has been going around behind my back stating I'm hormonal. Now of course this is true, but ffs I've got my own hormones, mirena's, norithesterone and thyroxine whizzing its way around my body, its not only stating the obvious I personally found it really offensive as theres naff all I can do atm about these hormonal side effects and everyone is well aware as I've made no secret albeit I've stated things in formula ie progesterone rather than mirena(my issues with that are way too personal to discuss at work). Theres been an air at work so I decided to attempt to clear the air, being an adult and all, it must be horrible for other members of staff to have to work around us, not to mention the male colleague has been (if it is all my fault as he states) using our spat to have a pop at other members of staff.

I've so far in the past week been told to eff off and had a door slammed in my face (my team leader knows of this), I've been completely blanked, I'm not supposed to be lifting anything heavy due to internal issues my GP has said no and this colleague has given no support at all despite sometimes me having to almost ruddy grovel, I've had him and a female colleague talking about me to then have "oh we thought you'd gone" like that makes it any better, I have had a personal issue non endo related that he's passed onto a female colleague I specifically stated I didn't want her to know (he walked in when I was explaining to my team leader), and then today I've been told its all my fault and I shouldn't be so hormonal as if I can do something about it. The personal issue to take it further is I've spent much of the weekend in tears due to finding out my eldest sons father has died and trying to work out wtf I'm going to tell a 13 year old in this situation, to which I've been called a liar, asked what the fuss is about, told people don't want to walk on eggshells for me (never asked them to), note this male colleague knows of this as he was there at the time of the conversation with my team leader so knows I'm already not the best emotionally, so he shouts at me for trying to appologise for being "hormonal" though I still fail to see even if I am (which it would take an idiot not to realise I am) surely this isn't only me at fault here? I had to walk away and cry, well another colleague took me for dinner break early.

It probs sounds like nothing put in a quick message but its driven me to tears twice now (not helped as of course I am hormonal) and I really don't want this to carry on as not only is it affecting other colleagues, and as much as I don't want to be at work, I do need my job and can't just walk away (was seriously tempted to, today) but if this carries on, emotionally I cannot keep putting myself through it as there is already another colleague who has health issues and which she's the reason I've been so sidelined as I've only got "endo" and she's had a gastric bypass operation (yes I've not worked that one out yet either as I never choose to be in my current predicament, the other lady knew the whole pitfall and shebang before hers).

I know about the leaflet on the main site, but I don't think its particulary suited to the situation, I've no backing from work so there is no head honcho I can discuss this with properly which is so frustrating its unreal as at least if I could I'd be able to explain even harder to a male colleague who really just sees it that Di has "hormone" problems end of. I've considered printing off the page from a medical website that states the sideeffects to all the medications I take and just throwing them at him next time he starts and shouting yes thats how effing hormonal I am happy reading, but I don't think it will do me any favours (though I'd poss feel better for a second lol).

Thanks in advance

Di

**Helen T**

Hi Di

I'm really sorry to hear you're struggling at work and at home it must be hard for u at the mo. From what you have said it's clear that your collegue Is a bully and therefore, your work has to take notice. I think from a legal stance you may benefit from keeping a diary of any comments he makes or negative behaviour towards you. This may help two fold. Firstly you can use this to take to your management if his behaviour continues to back up what your saying ( esp. Helps when u feel emotional to get your point across effectively) and secondly if a situation occured legally ( ie u were called into question about ur behaviour) you have something to back u up. Do u have anyone u can confide in at work? The other option you could consider is mediation? I know it sounds a bit extreme but if your bosses aren't doing anything you may have to take it into your own hands. Someone like ACAS maybe able to help. Remember Di it's not your fault, whatever the silly person says x

**tessa36**

Men!
Will they ever learn?!

That 'Hormonal' remark was very sexist of him and if he's such an expert on the disease he should know that Hormones play a vital role of the whole thing.
If your GP says you shouldnt be lifting due to health reasons, especially if its to do with endo, then you have every right to refuse to lift especially if the item should be moved by mechanical means or by a trolley of a sort.

The law has brought in manual handling rules for a reason and one of them is to protect peoples backs/ health whilst working, or there would be lawsuits galore.

My suggestion would be this-
Do make copies of the list of what Endo does from the shetrust website
also download and print the booklet about Endo at Work
get your GP to back you up with a letter stating what you are allowed to do physicaly because of Endometriosis
Write down everything that goes on between you and him

There has to be some form of someone in charge of where you work for legal reasons. They should be notified that you are experiencing difficulty from a work colleague who is being unco-operative with you and is being sexist and breaking confidentiality between colleagues.

Then kick his arse with the Disability Discrimination Act.