I've lost a bit of 'fight' today.

[francis]

I need a rant.

Today i felt like quitting a job i love because i just feel like im never going to get better. Everyone rounds me keeps saying 'when you have the op' or 'when the zoladex kicks in' you'll be back to your normal self.

I want to hit them, i am so angry. I feel like shouting in their faces - whats the point? its going to come back! its ALWAYS going to come back.

I know all the logic. I know that if i get six months off the pain i am lucky. I know that some women with Endo won't even get that.

And then i know another fact. I am in my early 20s and i have severe Endo which, according to a specialist, might already be spreading. I can't help feeling very lost sometimes, because if its spread now, how much more will it? I feel like the whole of my body is going to be taken over by Endo. That given 5 years there wont be any of me left.


xxx

[xxkatexx]

BIG HUGS hun i know just how you feel i find myself thinking the same thing...but i think it is ok to feel this way and i think sometimes we are going to feel like this.

it is a very hard fight to fight endo.but you will never loss the great person that you are hun.

i really hope you have a better day soon.

katexxx

[francis]

Thank you.

I am feeling a bit brighter today.



xxxx

[soda]

hey francis im glad your feeling a bit brighter today. Its horrible when those feeling come on you and you dont know what to do. I feel exactly the same when people say to me "sure you've had your op so how come your still having pain" i feel like crying and screaming - but whats the point nobody understands other than the family we have on here

The most hurtful thing is when people say that you will soon be back to normal, they have no idea that we wont probably ever feel normal again - and to be honest probably have no idea what normal actually is!!!!

I hope your feeling better now hun. thinkin of you
xox

[francis]

Yeah, its the idea that Endo will be magically fixed even though you've told them that its life long and ops are about about making life bearable most of the time - hardly 'normal.'

But then most of the people who say these things to me are people who are good friends. I know they care but they don't understand yet. Tis not their fault though!



xxxxx

[shrimp]

rant away ladies....after all we understand each other dont well...only too well we understand.....

francis - i was also in my early 20's when i was finally diagnosed and after lap number 2 my bowel was stuck down....and today - age 38 its still stuck down.....seeing bowel surgeon in couple weeks.........all your comments will have been felt by all of us and we all understand what you mean but sorry to say those that do not have endo or who do not live with someone with endo have no idea what its like......thats a fact...and you will just have to bite your teeth at these people........and come on here and have a blast instead

do you work in london? i used to work down great eastern street and have many fond memories of working in the city.....

shrimp xxx